Monday, 25 September 2017

DUMPING my child at daycare



Recently, I saw a post that outlined how easy it was for Mums who just "dump their toddlers at day care and go off to work for eight hours and have a break" and how hard it is to be a stay at home or work from home mum, having to look after your child whilst getting one million other things done.

HEY

No...

1. None of us have it harder than anyone else. We are all just trying to do our best and make what we believe to be the right decisions for our children. There is no wrong or right or easier or harder.

2. Let me just tell you what is involved with "dumping my toddler at day care and going off to work"

  • I work 40 hours a week, outside of those 40 hours, I also have to do all of my house work, raise, teach, tame, bath, feed and nurture a toddler and attempt to look after myself. I also study in the hopes of starting my own business so I can spend more time with my son. 
  • I went back to work when Achilles was four months old. Not because I wanted to or because I chose to... because I literally had to, to be able to feed and provide my family with shelter. 
  • Most days, I fight back tears because I don't WANT to leave him... but I HAVE to. If I want us to have any sort of successful future, I have to do this, for us. 
  • Everyday I wonder: Are they looking after him properly? Is he eating? Is he drinking? Is he happy? Is he learning?
  • I have had 23 days off with Achilles this year already. Guess how many sick days I get? SIX... Every day I cannot "dump" my son at daycare, I now don't get $200 of my pay. On top of that, I feel judged at work for taking so much time off and worry about losing my job.
It's not easy so please don't be so quick to judge someone in a situation you have never experienced.

Mums are mums... No matter if you're a working Mum, a shift worker Mum, a Defence Mum, a work from home Mum, a stay at home Mum, a single Mum or any kind of Mum. We are all, in the end Mums... we have the same title, the same job: to do the best we possibly can for our children.

Can we agree to at least tone it down on the judgement a little and maybe start empowering one another so we all feel good about our decisions instead of constantly being in fear of being judged or shamed.

STOP. LOVE.

The End! <3



8 comments :

  1. Such a great post this is, and what I think about this is that mothers should take care of their toddlers at least until 3 years than continue their jobs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a great idea. And I'll quit my job and we can live on the streets and starve. But hey.. At least I'll be 'taking care of him' right?!

      Delete
  2. You are doing an amazing job Tahana!
    Everyone can only do the best they can, and do what is best in their situation, don't listen to anyone who says your picking the 'easy' route! Xx

    Kez | acaciasdreams.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think it's horrible that anyone would judge a mother, especially a fellow mom! You're an amazing mother and I know we talked about how hard it was for you to leave Achilles at daycare and how hard you searched for a daycare that was high quality and also affordable. Sometimes people judge without knowing all the things that happen behind the scenes!!! Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you aren't an amazing mother.

    Sarah | Bows & Pleats

    ReplyDelete
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