Monday, 13 February 2017

Dear Me... Dear depressed, unmotivated, unhealthy me... It's time to change!

This body is not the result of pregnancy or child birth. I was quite happy with my post pregnancy and birth body. I looked great, I felt great and I was proud that I was able to stay active during my pregnancy and keep up a healthy diet.

This body is the result of neglect, laziness, poor time management and organisation, a lack of motivation to look after myself and broken promise to myself of never doing this to my body again.

I could not be more disappointed in myself. I have been at this point in my life before and I swore... I SWORE to myself I would never be there again.. yet here I am. Lazy, unhealthy, unmotivated and depressed because I let myself get to a point where I knew I would be unhappy.

Please do not tell me I am being too hard on myself because I am a mother.

I have been a mother for ten months now and the fact that I have put everything else above my own health is just unacceptable. I can be just as amazing a mother to my son (probably even more so) whilst looking after myself as well. It is possible, there are lots of mothers who do it. I just have to get myself out of this rut and back to the person I am. Back to the person I want to be again. The happy, healthy, active, positive and motivating woman I am! I used to inspire people but I can't imagine inspiring anyone in my current state.

On Monday, February 13, I go back to me.I have my schedule all planned out. Sure, I have a baby, it isn't always going to work out exactly how I want it to but if I want to be healthy and happy, I will do my damn best to get everything I need done.

Instead of sitting on my phone scrolling through Facebook and Instagram because I'm "too tired" once I get Achilles to sleep, I will cook myself dinner (I have been skipping dinner most nights for 3-4 months now), I will prepare my food for the next day so I do not buy a bacon and egg bagel and jumbo coffee from the cafe near work ... followed by a blueberry or raspberry muffin and then a chicken and salad sandwich or Chicken and Chips from woolworths for lunch.

Yep.. that is how I am living right now.. and sometimes I sit and wonder how I got to this point. It is actually quite obvious and I need to start being real with myself. I need to STOP using being tired as an excuse. I chose to have a child and I will probably be tired for the next ten years at least (maybe more if we decide to have more children!). Being tired is not an excuse to not look after yourself, to put yourself and your health first.

I've seen this going around a lot lately and it could not be more true of me right now.

My cup is so damn empty, I couldn't feed an ant. And I did it to myself.

I know what it takes to nourish your body properly and give it what it needs, I am studying to be a personal trainer and I have studied for hundreds and hundreds of hours about nutrition. It is not that I don't know what to do..I have just chosen to be lazy and give in to feeling tired when in fact if I got off my ass and looked after myself properly, I probably wouldn't be tired because my body would have what it needed to survive the day.

Today, I start running an 8 week challenge for my team as work for practice for when I am a PT. I am joining in because not only is it important to me as a personal trainer to practice what I preach, but it is also important to me that I feel good about myself so that I am able to help other people to feel good about themselves too because I know how horrible it is to not feel good about yourself for a very long time.
Please encourage, support and check up on me (although I will be posting updates on my @talkhealthytome instgram, my snap chat at: tahanalee and our Facebook group here).

Are you like me and guilty of not looking after yourself?!

Keep smiling

Tahana xo


  1. I am so proud of you for putting this out into the cyber world! I am sure you will motivate and empower so many others. I know personally this blog post really spoke to me, as I too struggle with eating and health issues which definitely so not come from a lack of education. Time to practice what we preach girl!! Cant wait to watch you on this journey! xxo

    Shannon x.

  2. So brave of you to post that! I relate to this, I often feel unmotivated and have lazy eating habits and cannot be bothered exercising, all of that. I used my son as an excuse for way too long, but he's at school and there really shouldnt be any excuses. This is inspiring to read - I wish you well it getting fit and healthy, I really hope you can get back into it and start feeling good about yourself again x

    Di from Max The Unicorn

  3. Goodluck! Sounds like this was a very hard post for your to write. But you took the first step and decided to change your circumstance! Hope all goes well for you! xxx

    Rochelle ||

  4. Good positive message you can do it, you have done it before, I sympathise with the baby tiredness but you are right we will be tired for the next few years. You have inspired me ☺️.

  5. Go T! You are motivating me :)
    I currently eat like rubbish but I'm already losing the motabolism I've always had as I turn 25. I know I'm going to have to actually work now because I've noticed I've gained quite a few kilos since I started working full time two years ago. It's gotta go!

    Maddie |

  6. Oh babe, this post was very brave. I completely understand where you are coming from. Its hard, believe me I know its hard. But you are right. Sometimes you need to push yourself and admitting this to the world might just be the push you needed. It took me a good year to get out of that "lazy" mindset when I had Lani. I look back on photos of myself and think man, why didn't anyone tell me I looked terrible. If its any consolation, it doesn't happen again the second time around. Theres no time to feel or be lazy, if anything because your day of so full on your body gets used it to and the weight just drops off lol Good luck sweetie, i'll keep checking in and seeing how you going xxx

    Bec | Beauty With Bec

  7. I love this post! I have been meaning to write about mine! Just cause people think I am 'skinny' they think they can bring me down and pass judgement at me for going to the gym.. for me its my mental sake! Along with feeling better in my own skin. I love this post and you are so brave!! Keep it up! Best blog post I have seen in a long time x

  8. Good Luck T!! I know you can do it girl!! I need to get off my ass and do more aswell!! And I don't even have a kid to tire me out!!

    Mel xx || Loads of Lifestyle

  9. Proud of you! You have totally got this! It will be hard, but completely worth it, good luck xx

    Kez |

  10. So incredibly impressed with how brave you are for making this post and holding yourself accountable, I completely know that feeling of just feeling so low and I think it's amazing that you've found the motivation to pick yourself back up again.

    I would say good luck but by the sounds of this post you're not going to need it, I know you'll do amazing and get where you want to be! :)

    Julia // The Sunday Mode