Friday, 11 November 2016

Am I a REAL Mum??

When you're pregnant or a new Mum, every post on Facebook seems to be about pregnancy and babies (because let's face it, as soon as you find out, you follow every baby related Facebook page you can find).

What I have found is the increasing amount of posts titled along the lines of "What REAL pregnant bellies look like" , "One REAL Mum shares her horror shopping trip with two children." "What REAL postpartum bodies look like".And stories about celebrities who have stretch marks and all of a sudden, they're REAL?


I, up until this point have felt a little anxious about sharing my postpartum body with my followers because I honestly felt like I wouldn't get much of a reaction. I felt like because I  was lucky enough to not get stretch marks and my stomach looks pretty normal, I wouldn't be seen as a real Mum. That scared me and I found myself at one point, wishing that I had stretch marks so people would think I was a real Mum.. so I had evidence that I went through this. How silly is that? But this is what these articles have done to me and the judgement I have seen from other women has done to me. I felt like I wouldn't be seen as brave for sharing or... that I wasn't real.

Ok.. Question... What the actual f**k is a real Mum? Or a real women? Or a real person?

I feel like any mother who works out during pregnancy, doesn't get stretch marks, doesn't put on much weight and has a happy and rather drama free birth and new born experience with their babies, is not considered REAL.

Breast feeding mumma's who are working out/training or just for comfort.... you need this in your life!! Open heart time: These last 6 months I have retrained (let's be honest actually trained) my body and mind to be the healthiest version of myself I can be for my children. Especially the last 2 months I have been juggling tiny humans, workload and house load and found I was getting overwhelmed and very emotional (aka not handling my shit very well). This has been my saving gracing....working out, exercising and moving (more then just casually strolling with the pram) to be in the best mind set I can be as their mum, not workout for appearance sake but to feel happier and stronger inside, it's thanks to the amazing trainers for making me push harder and be a stronger person @berniefaz @anytimefitnesskiama @stevenantonfitnessandlifestyle This maternity training bra has been a god send.... thank you to @fromzeroau who have made the transition from feeding mumma to workout time a breeze without changing my attire!!! πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸ» highly recommend ✔️✔️ #mumswithhustle #showmehowyouhealthy
A photo posted by SnapChat: kaotic.mumma πŸ‘» (@kaotic_mumma) on



I worked out during pregnancy (to the point where I was able), I had a perfect pregnancy, I didn't get stretch marks, I had a drug and complication free birth and my baby is probably one of the happiest people I've ever met. And for some reason, the internet has decided that I am not real. Because I chose to have a healthy pregnancy, because my age and genetics determined that I would not get stretch marks.

PEOPLE CAN BE CRUEL that we all need to understand, the more we understand the easier life will become. I am constantly ripped to shreds every single day about every move I make, how I parent, my body, my business & even down to the way I speak πŸ™„πŸ‘ŽπŸ½ Can I tell you that no matter what is said, no matter how forceful these people are on me I NEVER forget my value 😁 I am a ME, I love the person I am, I am so happy with every imperfection, every constant struggle & every thing I stand for. So I have allocated 20mins a day (4-7 x per week) to myself to lay in the sun, lather on some @labangbody (because it smells delicious & makes my skin silky smooth) to zone out & breath. Treat yourself to a 20min TTY (Time to Yourself) & smile 😁 La Bang it up πŸ˜‰ So to all of my business owners, entrepreneurs & parents, you are doing a FANTASTIC job. If someone criticises your service, your intentions, your motive or your choices DON'T FORGET YOUR VALUE!!!! Carefree is a fantastic way to live 😘
A photo posted by Chontel Duncan (@chontelduncan) on


Chontel Duncan and Sophie Guidolin were recently heavily in the public eye due to their active pregnancies and tiny bumps (due to the fact they both have abs to die for!). Never once were they referred to as real mums but instead judged for every single thing they did throughout their pregnancy... and continue to be judged about the choices they make since and even their birth stories.


Who is anybody to determine what is real or normal?

GUESS WHAT... just because someone is a celebrity or chooses to have an active pregnancy, it doesn't mean they aren't real. It takes a hell of a lot of work to keep active at the best of times, let alone whilst being pregnant and I think EVEN more effort to try to find the time to keep active once they're here! I take my hat off to those women who choose to stay active and healthy and continue to have that discipline to treat their bodies well. That is their choice and because it takes hard work to make that choice, it doesn't mean it is fake, unrealistic or unobtainable to everyone else.It's hard, I know, I'm struggling with it at the moment, but it doesn't mean I can't do it!

Every single pregnancy, birth and child is different. Every single mother will make different choices.

As women, we need to stop judging and critiscing each other and thinking there is only one way to do things when there are so many.

Pregnancy, birth and raising children is extremely personal. Yes, some people are more open than others and choose to share their experiences, but this doesn't give anyone the right to make someone feel like they aren't making the right choices.

πŸ™Š MY POST BABY BODY πŸ™Š Yerp I was totally terrified to post this but this is me and my journey after baby. How I found getting my strength and trying to recognize my body again. Blog up now link in bio! . . . When someone usually thinks about a woman’s body after they have a baby it generally isn’t the most appealing image. I had no idea what to expect. Would my belly button look like a baboon’s ass? Will my boobs need cranes to hold them up once I stopped breastfeeding? Would I ever fit into my old clothes again? Will I always pee when I sneeze? But I now have a new appreciation for my body! The female body is bloody amazing! Who cares if we have some stretch marks look at the amazing human life we created!! #transformationtuesday . . Please note this is just my personal journey which was also one to get my fitness back to where it was prebaby!
A photo posted by Steph Pase (@justanothermummyblog) on


Just because one mum doesn't have stretch marks, it doesn't mean they're not super insecure about their bodies (speaking from experience here!).  There are a hell of a lot of other changes that we go through other than the way we look! Every mother has it tough, we all have bad days, good days and super bad days where we want to give up on everything.

Every mother should feel real and brave for sharing any part of their journey with other people.

No matter who you are, what you look like and what choices you make as a Mum, YOU ARE REAL.

And so am I!

Keep smiling

Tahana xo 


  1. Great Post Tahana! I have a friend who thought/felt just because she had her babies via c section that she really didn't have a "proper" delivery and she was kind of ashamed of it. I think women can be very harsh in this day and age and like to say harsh things with out thinking. Any women who has a child and raises it (whether she physically has had the child or not) I believe is a real mum!

    Nicole xx |

    1. Thanks Nicole! Exactly right. I hate the fact that women can make other women feel so horrible for the choices they make when being a mum. There are so many horrible things they could be focusing on when it comes to children. C section births, in my opinion, are any easier or make you less of a woman than having a natural birth. <3

  2. This is such a spot on post, Tahana! It always frustrates me that so many of the so called 'empowering' messages on social media have to come at the expense of bringing other amazing women down. Why can't we all just be different and diverse? I can't even imagine how tough it is to be a mum and you sure as hell don't need this kind of talk bringing down all your amazing work. As a little aside, I always love seeing your snaps of Achilles. He is always so happy and smiley!

    Emma | Rosy Disposition

  3. Amazing post!!! Every mom is a real mom! It sucks when you are putting in so much effort to work out and people judge you for it or for having a less complicated pregnancy. Also I think you're an amazing mom and you should never doubt yourself!!! Love you!!!

    Sarah | Bows & Pleats

    Sarah | Bows & Pleats

  4. Beautifully written babe. Social media doesn't help at the best of times with this kind of thing. I have been very lucky to drop the baby weight quickly and am now smaller than I was before kids. I sometimes feel that because I don't have the Mummy tummy or that I'm slim I've gone through less of a change than other mums. I try not to think about it but sometimes there are these so called "inspirational messages" from other mummy bloggers which pop up in my feed that make me question myself. X

    Bec |